I've been struggling with commitment lately. Probably not really the commitment part as much as the priority part. I, as many people, have a million commitments going at any given time. Problem is that the priority I assign to those commitments is all out of whack. I've have slowly come to this realization since the end of January. Then in Church last Sunday, Pastor Todd preached about this very thing. Of course, I don't think this was the intent of his sermon, but this is what I walked away with. I knew immediately that I wanted to write a post about this and yet, due to a messed up system of commitments and priorities, it has taken me all week and another Sunday sermon to finally sit down and get this out.
The sermon series right now is about Finding Joy. Pastor Todd is taking us through the Book of Philippians. I have always struggled with the concept of Joy. It has really only been the last 3 or 4 years of my life that I have really known Joy. I still have a lot to learn about staying grounded in this Joy and knowing where my Joy truly comes from.
Things have been very hard for me since January. Honestly, I should probably back up to January of 2014, because that is really when this all started, but I will spare you the horrid details and just jump to this January. There was an incident at work that led to a news story on TV. This incident led me down a path where I felt I needed to give more to my company. This happened on my watch. This is my fault. I failed and I owe them more. I will say, that I never doubted God and I had Faith that the truth would come out. Being a follower of Christ does not mean that my life will be easier. I know and understand that and I feel that I used my Faith and Trust in Christ as my Lord and Savior to guide me in all the choices that I made in relation to this investigation.
Yet, at the same time, I have found myself giving every moment of my time to my job, except the few hours on Sunday when I came to Church to worship. My family was suffering and I was finding so was my Joy. My priorities and my commitments were, as I said earlier, OUT of WHACK!
So . . . back to the analogy of Ham and Eggs for Breakfast. Pastor Todd used this analogy in his sermon and it really hit home for me.
How committed are you? Are you the chicken who lays the eggs but does not have to suffer immensely or give up much to provide the eggs? Maybe you give an hour here or a dollar there but it does not take much of your time or your effort and your life goes relatively unchanged by what you give. OR Are you the pig who must lay down your life so that we can have ham? In order for us to have ham or bacon (which is really my preference) that pig has to be ALL IN. That pig has to be fully COMMITTED. In order for us to partake, he has to lay down his life and give his all for us. That is the type of commitment that I am looking for from myself. The type of commitment where I give everything to Christ. That is how committed I want to be. Right now I am a chicken. I lay an egg here and I lay an egg there, but I never give so much that it hurts. I have been ALL IN for my job but playing the role of the chicken for Christ.
I am looking for a change. I am looking for a priority shift. I am looking to pursue the one and only true thing in my life and thus in the pursuit, realign my priorities and commitments so that true Joy is found once again.
So. . .I ask you. . . Ham or Eggs?
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