Holding My Breath. . .

I realized today that I've been holding my breath for the last two weeks.  I've literally put my life on hold while I waited to see what was going to happen.  I realize that it's probably a very natural response.  When someone you love and cherish is going through something as awful as cancer, you find yourself waiting for some scrap of information about what the future holds and while you are waiting, time is slipping by and moving on without you.

God has been calling me.  Calling me to fulfill some very specific tasks and I've put God on hold because I've been waiting for a few answers about my Dad.  Specifically, I wanted to know how much time. . .

Today Doctor Melguizo basically said "I don't know."  When we pressed on he said - statistically, the median time with this type of brain cancer is 18 to 24 months.  About 10% or so live even longer.  We have to wait and see Dad's response to the treatments.  Only time will tell.

Wow!  As I type this, I'm at a loss for words.  What would we do with our time if we knew we only had 18 to 24 months?  I'm so grateful for the knowledge.  Had I known that I had only 18 to 24 months with my sister Liz, I would have done things much differently.  Not just differently with Liz, but differently for me too.  I've been thinking about priorities and changes that I would like to make.  Changes that make my life more about God and his plan for me and my family.

It's time to stop holding my breath, time to start breathing, time to start living and carrying out the plans that God is calling me to do. . .